The Consulting Librarian?
by Cumberbatch Critter
Summary: In which John argues that "The Hobbit" is the best book and Sherlock argues that "Frankenstein" is better. Very obvious, and major, spoilers for both books. Not a crossover with anything!


**The Consulting Librarian?**

"Science."

"Adventure."

"Creation."

"Courage."

"Perseverance."

"The same can be said."

"How?"

"If you take into consideration the hours that Victor spent toiling away to perfect his creation, a creation that seemed all too impossible, then it is a stunning example of perseverance."

"Well, Bilbo trekked for over a _year_, Sherlock, on a journey that he had initially nothing to do with! He fought dragons-"

"No, he didn't."

"Okay, he _outwitted_ _a_ dragon, a bit. He fought spiders!"

"Spiders, how dangerous."

"For a, what, four foot being? Yeah, it was dangerous."

"I still say _Frankenstein_'s better."

"Well, I say _The Hobbit's_ better. Don't insult my favourite book."

"Don't enjoy tedious books and I wouldn't have to."

"Tedious? It's an action-packed adventure compared to your... impossible situation."

"It's science, John. _Science_. Technically, with advances made in computer science and medical equipment, I have little doubt that something like this could occur."

"Yeah, but not back then! And I really doubt someone could make Frankenstein's Creature in reality."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, it's not. It's not an invitation, either."

"Hm... Well, at least you can argue the science behind this Creature, if you ignore the obvious blatant impossibilities."

"The whole book's an impossibility..."

"And killing a giant dragon with one arrow _isn't_?"

"There was only one place where Smaug didn't have armour. So, yes, one arrow was all it took."

"So, basically, he was a pathetically weak dragon who bullied others. Wonderful."

"No, he- At least the book didn't end in morbid depression. Both Victor and his Monster dying? Wow, that's cheery. Actually, I understand why you like this book."

"Don't be ridiculous, of course they had to die, that was the only obvious ending. The corruption of power, John, don't you see? Victor _created_ something that he was thought was powerful and impressive, but it _wasn't_. The fact that he had the power, but it ended up killing him, was the true moral of the story."

"That makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense. At least _Frankenstein_ has a moral."

"You're saying _The Hobbit_ doesn't? Um... Let's see... Strength in the face of adversity? Realizing what you're worth?"

"Dull."

"Oh, yeah. Right. Really dull."

"Readers can associate with the Monster."

"Readers can associate with Bilbo."

"The hobbit, however, was completely normal. He had nothing that would make the readers feel pity, and thus, associate with him."

"Bilbo _was_ four feet tall. And hobbits just don't... you know, go off on adventures. It wasn't in his blood."

"His blood was the reason that he went on the adventure altogether. You're forgetting the Tooks."

"I'm not forgetting the Tooks, Sherlock, I remember the Tooks! But you know what I mean... Hobbits are respectable... quiet creatures."

"Thus making them dull, thank you for proving my point."

"But Bilbo _wasn't_ dull, because he went against all that and- Oh, I know! You had to like Gollum."

"If you liked Gollum, I think you'd be rather rooting for the wrong person."

"You know what I mean. He's a cool character."

"Asides from the fact that it sounds like he chokes on every word."

"I'm sure the Creature had such great communication skills."

"Hm..."

"Sherlock?"

"Mhm?"

"Have you actually _read_ _The Hobbit_?"

"Obviously."

"_And Frankenstein_?"

"Honestly John, why would I debate over such trivial matters if I _hadn't_?"

"Just wondering... What part _did_ you like about _The Hobbit_?"

"I suppose I enjoyed the Company's trek through the Forest of Mirkwood, even if they were incredibly stupid to step off the path."

"Well, they weren't too bright, I'll give you that... Especially after Gandalf's warning."

"Yes, well, treasure on the mind of Dwarf is like a bomb waiting to explode. What did you enjoy whilst reading _Frankenstein_, then?"

"Um... Well, I think the Creature watching that family was a good concept. He really just wanted to be normal..."

"Yes."

"Sherlock?"

"What?"

"... Read _The Hobbit_ again."

"No."

"Come on! Read it again and tell me that you still don't like it!"

"You read _Frankenstein_ and admit that it's terrific."

"... I'll read it if you read _The Hobbit_."

...

"Starting a book club?"

John nor Sherlock neither looked up as DI Lestrade's voice spoke from the doorway. They had both noted the door opening and closing, and then footsteps on the stairs. They had both ignored the door opening and closing, and the footsteps on the stairs.

"What are you reading?" Lestrade asked, stepping into the room.

"_Frankenstein_."

"_The Hobbit_."

"Oh, classics? I always preferred _The Count of Monte Cristo_," Greg continued.

Sherlock scoffed and stretched out across the sofa, turning a page in John's weather-beaten copy of _The Hobbit_.

"Don't give him something else to insult," John murmured, flipping the page in Sherlock's pristine copy of _Frankenstein_.

"Oh, so it's a book _war_, not a book club," Lestrade joked.

Neither Sherlock nor John responded.

"Er... So, Sherlock, it turns out that you were right on the gardener-"

"Yes, fine, thank you," Sherlock interrupted.

"... We apprehended him this morning and-"

Sherlock sighed heavily. "Honestly, Lestrade, can't you _see_ that I'm trying to read?" He returned his gaze to the dog-eared page.

Lestrade looked at John.

John didn't look up, irritably brushing the scarlet ribbon bookmark out of the page. "Yeah, sorry, Lestrade... Can you come back later if it's not important?"

Greg was quiet for a moment before he laughed quietly. "Yeah. It's not important, anyway. I've never seen Sherlock so intent on something other than a case."

"It's because he's reading a good book," John muttered, more to himself.

"I am _trying_ to read; would you two remove yourself from the premises or, at least, kindly shut up?" Sherlock complained loudly.

"Shh..." John mumbled, flipping another page.

Lestrade watched them for another minute. "Well, I'll just leave you to it, then."

Neither John nor Sherlock responded.

* * *

**Another _I have this idea that I want to write_ fic! I do not own _The Hobbit_, I do not own _Frankenstein_, and I do not own _Sherlock_.**

**I have to side with John. _Frankenstein_ was so... tedious for me. _The Hobbit_ wasn't much better in the beginning chapters, but it made up for it. But, that's just me! (Sorry, Sherlock. =p)**

**Favourites/follows/reviews are always appreciated.**


End file.
